Hello! Welcome to Acting Like Mummy (named thus because, well, I’m an actor, a Mummy, and often, I feel like I’m faking absolutely everything). Thank you for dropping in on my travel diary through the madness of trying to be Me, while maintaining a gazillion different identities in this crazy, confusing world.
As I began the journey of becoming a parent, I was surprised by how lonely I felt. How strange it felt, being awake during the night breastfeeding a baby in dark silence. I often felt as though the whole world was asleep and I was the only soul, at that moment, struggling through huge changes and existential crises of a scale I’d never imagined possible. I wondered if anyone else felt the same. If there were any other introverts out there, struggling silently, unable to truly reach out during one of the most challenging phases of their lives. Was anyone else feeling lost, as though their identity had been subsumed in the daily grind of hazy sleep deprivation, exhaustion, being completely beholden to the needs of another human being? Did anyone else feel terribly guilty and selfish for not being able to handle it?
It’s a challenge balancing it all, being the parent that I want to be while maintaining a sense of autonomy. For me, that autonomy includes my own creative pursuits, the gradual realisation of my goals and ambitions in the wider world. It includes valuable time to myself, time that, as an introvert, I cannot manage without. Life often feels like a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that can feel crippling if you feel completely alone; so I want to share my experiences, in the hope that if you are struggling, you will realise that there are others out there. You may feel lost, or lonely, but there are others. I am here.
This blog isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to embrace the fundamental truth that there are always going to be more questions.
If you’re a parent who wants to read some reassuring posts about real parenting experiences, you’ve come to the right place (no perfect parenting here!). If you’re one of the 98% of actors finding your way through the rigours of a career in the industry, hello! If you’re a creative person struggling to maintain your own creative autonomy having had children (or not), stick around, I’m right there with you! If you’re an introvert looking for some kinship through the written word, welcome – I totally get it! If you want a bit of gentle advice about fitness and wellness from a personal trainer with a different perspective, I’ve got you covered (I also have a site dedicated to this at www.ukandufitness.com). If you’re none of those things but just want to read some interesting stuff about parenting, acting or the inner mind of a fellow human being, you’re in good company!
Finally, thank you for visiting and reading. Your presence here makes me feel connected to a wider community, in a world where a sense of human kinship can feel diluted and hurried. It’s a two way street, and that is beautiful. I hope you can slow down with me, find reassurance in our shared experiences, and enjoy reading these musings on a life of Acting Like Mummy (and barely managing it!).
