Eeks. I have my first post – baby self tape! It’s been 9 months since I did a tape, 10 months since I did a commercial casting, and I’m nervous!
The anxiety is real. The first basic question is when the heck to get the thing done. The baby refuses to nap for a predictable length of time (or at all). The 3.5 year old could easily be quieted with Teletubbies, but do I want to stick her in front of the TV during the day? Is that a sustainable solution as tapes keep coming in? I’d definitely prefer to do it during the day while I’m actually awake, rather than in the evening when I just want to sleep, but.. If it’s to be my work, and self tapes are more and more prominent casting tools in the age of Covid, I’d prefer to involve her, somehow. Can I make it an enriching experience that is inclusive, rather than creating a barrier between her and my working life?
The 3.5 year old could easily be quieted with Teletubbies, but do I want to stick her in front of the TV during the day? Is that a sustainable solution as tapes keep coming in?
It’s hard doing tapes at home because I feel somewhat beholden to my other half for getting them done. You need a reader, I am terrified of breaking our very nice camera and the tripod is temperamental, at best. I also find it very difficult to do things in front of him. It’s nothing unique – my family haven’t seen a single performance of mine because I don’t push for them to come to shows. I am far too nervous about their opinion. So doing auditions with someone so close to me is a challenge – and a commercial audition… Generally, they are soo embarrassing in and of themselves, so in the self tape context…It could be painful.
Technically… Argh. Somehow, in a 3 bedroom house, I’m unable to see a place that’s ideal for filming. We’ve really managed to fill it up. So that’s another concern. I’m sure there are good spots, but things get blown out of proportion in my head when I am overwhelmed (a permanent state of affairs right now). Not forgetting light to try and minimise how absolutely rough I look at the moment, and making sure we can’t hear the shouting from the pub across the street throughout takes.
Then, of course, there is the acting itself. This is actually a pretty comprehensive brief for a commercial casting – ‘you’re preparing a plate of food, and presenting it with pizazz, almost butler – like.’ Okay, that doesn’t sound too hard. But it’s a strange thing to have to do on camera. Or a strange thing to fake when you know that there will be two children on the edge of meltdown just as you try to settle into the zone.. Somehow, I need to find the headspace to believe in it. Despite the absolute fakery of it all.
Okay, that doesn’t sound too hard. But it’s a strange thing to have to do on camera. Or a strange thing to fake when you know that there will be two children on the edge of meltdown just as you try to settle into the zone.. Somehow, I need to find the headspace to believe in it. Despite the absolute fakery of it all.
I’ll find a way. This is the beginning of a new phase, & inevitably there will be some teething pain while the adjustment happens. Just have to hold on, stay focused, & maintain perspective! Easier said than done, but these things always go well in the end.
Deep breath. Getting back into the game! Perhaps you’re going through something similar and are nervous about how to make it all work, especially with so much ‘work’ moving into the ‘home’ due to Covid. It can feel overwhelming, for sure, but always remember – you’re not alone! Most of us are feeling the madness right with you.
