Years ago, I made a decision. To abandon a career in the city of London, and pursue a lifelong dream of acting. That soon turned into something wider; the pursuit of a creative landscape for my life. It was a thrilling, and scary time. One book proved to be a perfect companion on the crazy journey I had chosen. The wisdom of it’s pages were able to ground me as I went from a path well trodden, to a life in the wilderness.
The book was called Art & Fear, and my brother excitedly gave me a copy to read. He knew, in his infinite wisdom, that it would provide a healthy perspective for me at a time when I was at risk of standing in the way of my own happiness. The self critical voice inside my head loomed large, ready to stop me in my tracks completely at any moment, and I needed all the help I could get. Gradually, I realised the magnitude of the decision I had made. I wasn’t just pursuing a new career. I was leaving everything that I knew behind, and shifting towards an entirely different ideological outlook. I was doing a complete 360 on what my understanding of value & a life well lived was.
The premise of the book is quite simple; that it is a fear of producing something rubbish that ultimately kills your ability to create anything at all.
The premise of the book is quite simple; that it is a fear of producing something rubbish that ultimately kills your ability to create anything at all. There’s nothing revolutionary there – but the WAY that this book explained the challenge of allowing the artistic instinct to flow was life changing for me. It jarred something in my consciousness, tapped into some long-held beliefs that were holding me back, and allowed a new set of thoughts to dilute those blocks.
In essence, the idea shared in this book, is that you have two options.
Either spend precious energy creating one ‘perfect’ pot, beating yourself up terribly because you can’t live up to your own crazy perfectionist standards on the first attempt. Allow yourself to remain caught up in the notion that the only value is that of external validation, the applause of others, the creation of that ‘perfect work’ that the world loves you for. Allow that self imposed pressure to paralyse you, and halt your progress altogether.
Or, throw yourself in, head first, and make LOADS of pots. Let go of the notion that one of them will be that one perfect demonstration of your artistic expression made manifest. Just keep on making, making, and making for the love of it, for the satiation of the yearning inside you to CREATE. Learn from the little mistakes that you make on the way, let go of the self destructive voice of judgement inside your head, and accept that when it comes to art, you will always be a beginner.
Just keep on making, making, and making for the love of it, for the satiation of the yearning inside you to CREATE. Learn from the little mistakes that you make on the way, let go of the self destructive voice of judgement inside your head, and accept that when it comes to art, you will always be a beginner.
I love this idea. I have always been crippled by self-criticism, and for many years it was the most powerful voice in my consciousness. I would look in the mirror and despise what I saw. I didn’t want to go out of the house, let alone pursue the dream of a career which involved such complete unravelling of the self in a public space. Perhaps that is the reason why I had the dream of an acting career – I wanted so much to be free of that voice and share myself with the world – but that’s another post entirely.
Reading this book began the process of resetting my entire outlook on what the pursuit of an artistic career actually means – it isn’t about striking gold immediately and having some kind of intangible magic about you that makes you special. It’s about understanding that everyone is magical, but it takes relentless effort and the willingness to create, knowing that the greatest value in the process will be learning from the ‘mistakes’ that you perceive you have made. Read more about the value of mistakes here 😊
This book changed my life. If you’re feeling stuck creatively, in a cycle of procrastination and self criticism, give it a go!
